The Defenestration of Girl Scouts
March 23, 2009
No, I am not documenting nor encouraging the dismissal of girl scouts by throwing them from windows. I just found it highly inconvenient and surprisingly difficult to secure a box of Thin Mints. In the suburbs, where girl scouts are bred, their abundance like sewer rats in the city, it’s quite easy to score some cookies. In the city, on the other hand, I’ve found it takes some research, but ultimately begging and bitching lead to the sugary crack. This is quite similar to methods used to secure other forms of addictive substances. But, in this case, there are no business cards or deliveries.
Unfortunately, the existing National Girl Scout Policy prohibits the online sale of cookies. If I want to obtain this decadence, I must participate in face-to-face time with a girl scout, unless I find a minion to do it for me. I can also enter my zip code into the site and will be emailed a location where I can find these sellers of cookie crackdom. Now, before I had to resort to such drastic measures, a savior so very kindly purchased the Thin Mints for me, as he happened upon one of the little greenies this weekend. Thank you. I now have Monday morning breakfast, and peace of mind for the duration of two sleeves.
http://www.girlscoutcookies.org/meet_the_cookies.asp
We (humans) love cookies. I happen to have 3 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies waiting for me in my kitchen. They are delicious.
I used to live in one of these ‘Girl Scout Breeder’ homes of Suburbia. We used to have cookies bought and sold by the crate full. I suspected it to be a front from my own home only to be disappointed by it legitimacy. My sisters trudged through ice and snow to deliver and acquire more ‘clients’ whose thirst for vice could only be quenched by a steady diet of Do-si-does and samoas. Though,like a spoiled Prince, I devoured the delicious delectables behind their backs. Not caring about the means of which these cookies manifest or the sweat and toil required for their sale. Within time I became disgusted with myself. I could no longer tell the difference between myself and the conniving ‘Breeders’ who pushed the business to the extremes.
Dear me, dear me…
Ahh…well,If you find a scout let me know. I am sure they are on Ebay. Some girl scout has to have savvy rule-breaking, world dominating, money making scheme… lol.
You could always stop by their headquarters. It’s on 37th. I’m sure they would oblige.