Nicotine Gum, Save us All!

Day 82

There is a distinct difference between lapse and relapse, or so I’m told by my generically branded nicotine gum pamphlet.  According to this, I have not relapsed if I smoked a few drunken cigarettes, or in my case, chain smoked a pack or two of cloves last weekend.  That is merely a “lapse.”  I realize that when it comes to drinking, I’m utterly fucked.  There really is no way around it…nicotine gum doesn’t cut it at a bar, especially when trashed enough to attend cranberry wrestling at a goth club.  This is why during the week I have to either be a) sleeping or unconscious b) involved in extreme physical activity i.e. intense yoga or sex, or c) extreme cleaning projects such as scrubbing the bathtub, vigorously, naked, with bleach.  I’d like to say that I am exaggerating or over- simplifying, but in all honesty, that is really all I have to fall back on right now. Given my long smoking career, I don’t think I’m doing too shabby at all.  And I really don’t care what you think, unless you are a rehabilitated 10+ year smoker, with a hot body and charm.

I’d like to move along to a discussion of subway art.  That is perhaps a misleading term, as I’m talking about ad space in the trains, which seems to be highly occupied by podiatrists and dermatologists who employ graphic designers who specialize in the late 80’s aesthetic.  By the way, in order to smoothly tie this in to my previous topic, nicotine gum significantly increases my ability to cope with and dare I say, relax, during subway commutes.  So, this morning, cool and calmly detached on the L train, listening to  electrofunk because it’s Friday, and therefore celebratory, I noticed a change in ad space scenery.  Now, any of you who regularly use the subway know what I am about to describe; a space about 24 inches long and perhaps a foot tall, parallel with the bench, that usually features some MTA-hired artist (looking up his name now)…Ok, I now know all about the Arts for Transit program but could not find this specific artist, which is probably for the best.  I did however, find the image:

Personally, I really cannot stand this artist’s whimsical style.  In fact, I always found the rabbit disconcerting.  And really, come on…I’m riding the train during rush hour, trying to avoid being berated physically or verbally, also trying to avoid direct eye contact, and praying someone doesn’t urinate (which has occurred during my morning commute.)  It’s not a magical bunny floating through a cerulean sky.  It’s a dirty, washed out beige palette with fluorescent lighting, grime and rats.  And I’m fine with that, really.  So, this morning I realize there is new subway art on the L train!  And I like it!

This totally tops the rabbit.  The analogy to the subway is much more appropriate, and the background palette is more akin to actual subway lighting and colors.  It has a subterranean feel to it.  I look at this, I think NYC.  I look at the rabbit, I think…an Alice in Wonderland sans the acid. Unfortunately the MTA does not list the artist on their Arts for Transit site.  Boo, MTA.  I did, however, discover the artist of above rabbit; Dave Calver.  He also did the accursed Hand poster..which is even worse than the rabbit.  In fact, I would go so far as to say, I fucking loathe this poster:

It is a lame attempt at Surrealism.  There’s some Kandisky influence thrown in as well.  I think my disdain is culminated in the hands-that whimsical curve of the hand really pisses me off.  Please, explore that psychologically and get back to me, I am just as intrigued.

Luckily, I have nicotine gum to get me through bad art commutes.

Coming soon:  My first topic request! Little Goth Me: An Exploration of Black Lipstick, Fishnets and Catholic School Angst.  Hey, it’s not my idea-but you asked.